Every parent wants to keep their child safe throughout their life. But does this idea keep hovering in your mind continuously? Are you turning into an overprotective parent that keeps guarding his child in every situation?
Actually, this habitual behaviour of protective parents may hinder a child’s full potential. No matter how much good intentions these parents have for their children they end up raising a child who is ill-equipped to face the real-world situations.
Checkout for these tell-tale signs of overprotective parents and know what you can do to ease up your controls.
10 Characteristic Signs of an Overprotective Parent
1. You Keep It Too Safe For Your Child
Are you creating too many “safe zones” for your kids? This is the classic overprotective parent’s trait.
- To taste the real meaning of life children need to go out and have their own space. They want to make friends, go to hobby classes, take part in games and sports. These things help them explore life.
- When protective parents create multiple safe zones for kids, to keep them shielded, usually they end up suffering the opposite effect of it.
- Instead, you should let them explore their lives. Playing too safe may limit their exposure to real life.
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2. You Micromanage Your Kid’s Life
Ruling over every single situation of a kid’s life is not good for both the kid and his parent.
- Overprotective parents command and control every activity of a kid’s life, having the idea in mind that constant supervision will raise an obedient and well-disciplined offspring.
- However, the continuous micromanagement of kids’ pursuits will take away his genuineness and he will end up following parents’ preferences only.
- Allow him to decide a few things about his life through his own experiences. Open the door to let him choose his ways of life.
3. You Are Extremely Sympathetic
Over consoling a child and being extremely warm to comfort him is every protective parents’ sign.
- Generally, overprotective parents want to fix the “hurt feelings” of the child. If we take an example of a child who is running on grass, falls down and starts crying due to some injuries on his knees.Then his parents will try to fix his hurt-feelings.
- Stop fixing his hurt feelings with a trip to the ice cream shop. Instead, give him a warm hug and let him process his own emotions.
- Make your child learn the self-soothe emotion for such small incidents. After all, you can’t protect, compensate and make him happy after every tragic event throughout life.
4. You Are Too Intrusive In Your Child’s World
Overprotective parents are too nosy about a kid’s life. They are insanely interested in reassuring the child’s safety and comfort.
- The school teachers and child’s friends are on speed dial so you can anytime receive your child’s current updates; he can’t go to the hobby class without calling and confirming his safety at every hour; even when he is with his father, you frequently call if you can do anything for him.
- For sure, you are an overprotective mother! And you always over-do.
- Continuously checking up on children is helicopter parenting. Just let your child enjoy his life for a while, without your naggings. Stop making yourself and every other family member crazy with such constant reassurance reminders.
5. You Do Spoon Feeding
Out of all signs of overprotective parents, spoon-feeding a child is the most common habitual behavior that gradually ill-equips the child to adapt and manage real-life routines.
- Protective parents clean the kid’s room, make his bed, and keep his clothes well-arranged in the cupboard. They keep on babysitting the kid for everything.
- What overprotective parents forget to do is teaching the life-lesson of sharing the responsibility. Understanding the importance of responsibilities at an early age reduces the dependencies of others.
- Teach them how to clean the room, how should he arrange his clothes in the closet. Involve your kids in household responsibilities by assigning age-appropriate chores to him. The fair share of responsibilities will be your kid’s first baby step towards adulthood.
6. You Restrict Your Child From Branching Out
Remember how Frozen princess Rapunzel wanted to go out of the castle and her mother denied her every argument just with one sentence – “Because the mother knows the best!”
Are you a parent that unconsciously restricts the child from doing things that he finds interesting?
- He wants to go to his nanny’s place for vacations, but you enrolled him for summer camp. This year your daughter wants to try chacha, but you registered her name for ballet, because you know she is strong with her postures.
- Sometimes overprotective parents restrict their child from branching out. It’s ok if she can’t excel in chacha but letting her choose that dance form will make her confident about her choices.
- Encourage your kids to take a few decisions about their pursuits on their own. Let them try new activities and learn new skills. Learning new things and developing new skills will make him a confident and more independent person.
7. You Fight Your Child’s Battles
Are you an overprotective parent that keeps on managing a child’s friendships and battles? Especially if you rush to take his side when he fights with his friend, you are for sure a protective parent .
- “You should be friends with Nathan, he always ranks high in math and he is so obedient. You should learn from him.”
- How wonderful it would be if we can choose our child’s friends! But because your child bestie lives nearby and she also has a same-age child, you can’t force these two kids to be friends!
- “Stop poking my child during the class!”; I know my son will never behave irresponsibly” – Are you a parent that picks up the kid’s fight and argues with his class teacher to save him?
- Interfere only when there is a genuine reason to do so, let him solve his own fights, let him get punished due to his wrong actions. This is how he will learn that every action has consequences.
8. You Can’t Let Your Child Make Mistakes
Generally, we know that everyone learns from their mistakes, but when it comes to the child, our actions are totally opposite!
- Often we come across the overprotective mother shouting to safeguard his kid-“Don’t climb that ladder so swiftly, you will fall down!” ; “Stop jumping into the muddy puddle, you may slip and get dirty!”
- Hold on for a second and give yourself a break, do you think you will be able to instruct and hence safeguard him forever? When will he start learning things?
- It’s ok if he falls down or slips away! He will learn from his experiences. Don’t restrict your child from experiencing his shares of mistakes. Remember our case. We had our share of mistakes and experiences at childhood that helped us to get mature.
Know More – What Is Authoritative Parenting?
9. You Rush To Fix His Negative Experiences
The overprotective parent always pampers the child to give him the best of life. Painting the world in bright colors is a classic protective parent trait. But being positive and being real are two different things.
- Do you always comfort your child with the advice “be positive”? Do you always rush to fix his negative experiences?
- How long can you comfort him? Your apple of the eye is no different from others and we all have heartbreaks and bitter life experiences.
- So instead of constantly being his comfort zone, you should let him know the reality of life. Let him go through the painful process. He needs to be emotionally strong and mature.
10. You Create A Safe Bubble Away From The Real World
Life is not a fairy tale filled with sunshine and unicorns. As an adult, we know the harsh life realities. But how fair will it be to place the kid in a parent-protected safe bubble? Overprotective parents actually do this.
- Make your kids street smart as early as possible so he need not copy the wrongful actions of his friends or get into the situation where he has to follow the crowd because he doesn’t have his own views.
- You should be the one who teaches the child about the world around him. So instead of placing him in a bubble, you should make him well-equipped to face real-life challenges.
How To Deal With Overprotective Parents?
Are you a child of Protective parents? Here is how you can deal with them.
- To deal with overprotective parents, kids should build trust. Kids should constantly reassure the parents about every little thing.
- Share a few household chores to be your parents helping hand. This way protective parents will realize that you understand your responsibilities well.
- Talk to them. Let them know that constant hovering around your life makes you feel choked up.
- Stop obeying every instruction of the parent. This does not mean you should be a rebel. But opt for your favorite hobby classes. Choose your summer vacation camps. Stick to your choices.
To sum up, let’s ponder upon a reminder that mollycoddling a child makes him cripple to sustain life realities. And no parent wants this. So stop directing every frame of your child’s life.
Instead, as loving parents, nurture him with life-essential qualities. Overprotective parents should keep practising realistic life approaches.